So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
