am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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