We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
