her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
