Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
