grandma shit on top of the toilet
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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