He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
