I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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