Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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