who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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