Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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