Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
