That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
