Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
