How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
