Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
