We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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