yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
