If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this beer tastes like vomit already
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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