For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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