apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
