i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
