textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.