woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize