the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My life is pants optional.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
