Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
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it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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