so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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