dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
