Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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