dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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