Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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