She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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