still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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