Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
