were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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