Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
