i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
