i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How external is "for external use only"?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
