wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
