I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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