so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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