Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
