im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
