I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
