So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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