I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
