Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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