you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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