I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize