she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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