The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
50% drunk capacity currently
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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