VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
