maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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