you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
