sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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