She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
