I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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